Since lock down began I've had my ups and downs. Sometimes the ups haven't lasted that long and some times the downs have lasted too long.
This week was a full on emotional rollercoaster.
At the beginning of the week it was ok. It was the usual Monday with a usual project kick off meeting. Booked for 4 hours, hoping to get it done in 2, ended up being complete in 3 and the rest of the day carried on as usual.
Tuesday came and went, nothing too much to shout about to be honest until the evening. I went to my first virtual meet up group! Instead of sitting on the train and travelling down to Oxford I got to sit at my desk. Instead of meeting up with one of my best mates for drinks and dinner, I got to sit at my desk and have a beer over video chat. But then it began. It was nice seeing some regular faces and new people. It was a great chat by Scott Hunter from Microsoft about the future of .Net. The after meetup "pub" geek banter was on top form discussing uni text books we still have but haven't opened in years, the joys of xUnit and Autofixture for your .Net unit testing and DarkLang.
Wednesday started the fall. Not a good rollercoaster fall, but a mental fall. Work was the usual but generally I felt down.
We'd had some shocker nights sleep as my yougest kept waking up and needing my wife or myself to sit with him. Not ideal but if I've learnt anything since becoming a parent sometimes you just need to do what you need to do to get something done.
Thursday was not good. The weather was rubbish. I was super tired. And at various points I would just feel like crying for no reason. Powering through the day knowing that I had Friday off to look after the kids kept me going.
Then it all turned around once I'd closed my laptop for the day. My wife and I sat down and watched "Staged" with David Tennant and Micheal Sheen in. Highly recommend finding it on iPlayer. I wasn't sure what it was going to be like and the first few mins I wasn't really sure what I was watching but once I got into it I laughed. I laughed hard! I felt so much better. Now don't get me wrong, laughter doesn't fix depression! If you do struggle with depression I would strongly recommend talking to your doctor but for me, in this instance, a good strong laugh is what I needed. I felt so much better.
A day in with the kids on Friday was what I needed. A day to unplug. I've been told I can't be a house husband but Friday sorting out the washing and listening to the radio for a while was very peaceful!
Then came Saturday.
Saturday was hard for a couple of reasons. One I went out the house for longer than an hour or so. Other than popping to the office this is the first time I have done this since lock down started 13 weeks ago! Secondly I've spent the last 13 weeks avoiding people when going for walks and now I was going to play some disc golf for a mates birthday. Once I got there, started playing and having fun it wasn't that bad. The social distancing was hard but we made it work and I had one of the better days I've had in the past 3 months!
So I guess the fact is, ups are good, downs are bad. As long as you come up from the downs then you'll be ok. If you feel down for a period of time and need help then talk to someone.
Talk to a loved one. Talk to a friend. Talk to a close collegue. Phone up the doctors. Ring the Samaritans. Just talk to someone. You're not alone.
Stay home, keep safe!